


Higher and Higher (little secret)

by austinthegrouch



Series: Ron Weasley: A Boy in Parts [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexuality, Attempt at Humor, Awkwardness, Bad Jokes, Biromantic Ron Weasley, British Slang, Gen, Internalized Acephobia, Loneliness, Multi, Non-Graphic Descriptions, Obsessive Handwashing, Other, Self-Hatred, Sex-Repulsed Character, Swearing, Underage Masturbation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 21:00:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16227227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/austinthegrouch/pseuds/austinthegrouch
Summary: It's alright to fancy girls, and it's alright to fancy boys, and plenty of people fancy both. But is it alright not to fancy either?





	Higher and Higher (little secret)

He tries to masturbate just once. He's 14 and a half, and he's seen Seamus's mags and heard the lectures. He lives in a dorm with four blokes and has five brothers. It's hard to be a prude when you can hear Dean wanking in the corner.

He's home for the summer holidays, lazy and bored out of his mind. It's early morning and no one's up, now that Percy's moved out. But he doesn't focus on that. Never does.

He makes sure his door is locked tight, and wishes he could use a silencing charm. It'd be just his luck to have the twins (or shit, what about Ginny) find out. He slips out of his pyjama bottoms and hides back under the covers. He's not exactly sure how to start but figures it can't be that hard if someone like Seamus does it on a regular basis. He's great, but not particularly bright. He probably shouldn't be thinking about Seamus while he's going at it. He's not averse to boys but... it's Seamus. If he needs to think about a chap, couldn't it be a Quidditch star or something?

He examines his hand, the calluses, half-chewed nails and ink stains, as if he'll find all the answers there. Sure, he's washed it and scratched it and all the things that came with having a knob. But he's never really had a go at the whole business. 

He slides his right hand (because that's what all the shots say) into his boxers, and hesitates. He tries to think about that singer Ginny idolizes, or the captain of the Harpies, or those pinups Fred loves so much. But it's not working and he just... feels a bit meh about the whole thing. Maybe he's gay. Maybe that's why he can't stop thinking about how much of a dolt Seamus is. Sure, why not? He does like Quidditch. His fascination with flying and statistics was clearly a mask for his secret lust for Viktor Krum.

He wipes his hand on his sheet and tries again. Thinks about seeing Oliver on his broom, the ecstacy in Lee Jordan's voice during a match, Professor Lupin at his most interesting. Tries really hard to do more than chafe. And sure, he feels something from the stimulation, but... do people really like this so much? He just feels... nasty.

He steps into the bathroom and takes a long time rinsing his hands over and over again. Uses half the bottle of soap.

And he wonders if it's because he's one of those old fashioned people like his parents. Maybe he just needs someone special. Maybe, maybe... 

He's still normal. There's nothing wrong with him. He just hasn't met the right person. He keeps repeating it to himself as he gets into the shower.


End file.
